So...Am I a Pedophile or Is This OCD?!

If you found this page after Googling some version of "How do I know if I'm a pedophile?" or "Do I have POCD?", there's a decent chance you've already spent a shitload of time trying to answer that question.

Maybe you've analyzed your thoughts. Checked your body's reactions. Reviewed things you did years ago. Taken online "tests." Compared how you feel around children versus adults. Googled POCD symptoms over and over.

And somehow, you're still not certain.

That cycle of doubt, checking, analyzing, and trying to finally know for sure is exactly what an OCD specialist is interested in.

What Is POCD?

Pedophilia-themed OCD, commonly called POCD, involves intrusive thoughts, images, sensations, or doubts about being sexually attracted to children.

It can sound like:

• "What if I'm secretly attracted to children?"
• "What if I'm in denial?"
• "Why did I notice that child?"
• "What if that sensation was arousal?"
• "What if this isn't OCD?"

The questions can feel absolutely fucking terrifying.

And because the stakes feel so high, people often start doing everything possible to get certainty.

POCD Symptoms Aren't Just the Thoughts

This is the part people often miss.

OCD isn't only about what you're thinking. It's also about what happens next.

You might:

• Check your physical reactions around children
• Replay old memories looking for evidence
• Research signs of pedophilia
• Compare your reactions to children and adults
• Avoid children because you're scared of what you might feel
• Ask other people for reassurance
• Test yourself to see how you react

You get an answer. You feel better.

Then OCD goes, "Okay, but what about this?"

And you're right back in it.

But What If I Had a Physical Reaction?

This is an incredibly common place for people with POCD to get stuck.

You notice a sensation and immediately start checking it.

Was that arousal? Why did that happen? Did I like it? What does that mean?

Then you monitor even more closely. And when you're intensely monitoring a part of your body, you're going to notice more sensations.

The temptation is to figure out exactly what every sensation means.

That's usually where the checking cycle gets even bigger.

Do I Have POCD?

This is probably the question you desperately want answered.

And I'm intentionally not going to give you an internet test that promises to tell you.

If you're spending significant time checking, researching, reviewing memories, monitoring your body, avoiding children, or trying to prove what your thoughts mean, it's worth being evaluated by someone who actually understands OCD.

Because Googling one more symptom list probably isn't going to settle this.

If it could, you probably wouldn't still be here.

What Actually Helps?

Effective OCD treatment isn't about helping you finally prove with 100% certainty that your feared possibility is impossible.

It's about getting you out of the endless checking, analyzing, testing, avoiding, and reassurance cycle that's eating up your life.

Approaches including ERP, I-CBT, and ACT can help people respond very differently to obsessional doubt instead of spending hours trying to solve it.

Written by Ashley Annestedt, LCSW

Ashley specializes in OCD, tic disorders, BFRBs, and PANDAS/PANS and has treated thousands of individuals over nearly 20 years.