Why Does My Kid Keep Pulling Their Hair Out?

Maybe you noticed a thinning spot on your kid’s scalp. Or their eyelashes suddenly look sparse. Or half an eyebrow seems to be disappearing.

Maybe your teenager keeps reaching for the same spot while doing homework, watching TV, scrolling on their phone, or lying in bed. When you point it out, they swear they weren't even doing it.

Or maybe they know exactly what they're doing. They hate it. They've promised themselves (and probably you) that they're going to stop.

And then they pull again.

If this sounds familiar, your child or teen may be dealing with trichotillomania, also called hair-pulling disorder.

What is trichotillomania?

Trichotillomania is a body-focused repetitive behavior, or BFRB, that involves repeatedly pulling out hair. Kids and teens may pull from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, or other areas of the body.

Some kids know exactly when they're pulling. They may search for one particular hair that feels thicker, coarser, “wrong,” or especially satisfying to pull.

Other kids barely realize they're doing it. They may pull while watching TV, reading, studying, scrolling on their phone, riding in the car, or trying to fall asleep.

And plenty of kids do both.

Why can't they just stop?

This is the part that can make absolutely no sense to parents.

Your kid may genuinely hate the pulling. They may be embarrassed about a bald spot or missing eyelashes. They may really, really want to stop.

But trichotillomania isn't simply a bad habit that disappears once someone is motivated enough.

Pulling can get connected to boredom, stress, concentration, certain sensations, fatigue, or particular situations. One kid may automatically pull while scrolling on their phone. Another may feel a strong urge before pulling. Another searches for hairs with a particular texture and gets a little hit of satisfaction when they find the right one.

That's why treatment starts with figuring out what is actually happening before, during, and after your kid pulls.

Should I keep telling them to stop?

Probably not.

It's completely understandable to start saying things like, “Your hand is in your hair,” “You're doing it again,” or “Leave your eyelashes alone.” You're watching your kid pull their hair out. Of course you want to stop it.

But your kid probably already knows you don't want them pulling. Constant reminders can turn into shame, frustration, arguments, or hiding the behavior without actually giving them the skills to change it.

The goal is to move from policing the pulling to figuring out the pulling.

Is hair pulling caused by anxiety?

Sometimes. But not always.

Kids may pull more when they're anxious or stressed, but they also pull when they're bored, tired, concentrating, watching TV, studying, or lying in bed doing absolutely nothing stressful.

So simply treating “the anxiety” doesn't necessarily treat the hair pulling.

What actually helps?

There are behavioral treatments specifically designed for BFRBs.

Habit Reversal Training (HRT) helps kids become more aware of when and how pulling happens and teaches strategies that interfere with it.

The Comprehensive Behavioral Model (ComB) goes even further by looking at the sensations, thoughts, emotions, movements, and situations connected to a particular person's pulling.

That's important because two teenagers can both pull out their eyelashes for completely different reasons. One may pull automatically while scrolling TikTok. Another may stand in front of a mirror searching for the one eyelash that feels different.

Same visible problem. Different treatment targets.

When should I get my kid help?

If you're seeing noticeable thinning, bald spots, missing eyelashes or eyebrows, skin damage, hiding, shame, or repeated attempts to stop that aren't working, it's worth getting an evaluation.

And you don't have to wait until it's severe.

Knowing you want to stop and knowing how to stop are two very different things.